Wrestling with reality? – pick your battles
If I am in a funk (and I don’t mean the musical kind) I often find that I am arguing with reality. Take last week for example – lots of work I wanted to do but my son was off all week with a barking cough that would set off the neighbour’s dog. Previously I’ve been known to stomp around for an hour or two running a loop of reasons why this is so inconvenient around and around in my head but this time I didn’t.
Why eat wasps?
Because running the ‘life’s unfair’ loop just keeps me trapped in my head – it’s an exhausting, counter- productive and a futile waste of energy. Not to mention the impact it has on my gorgeous little man – nothing unconditionally loving about being picked up from school when you are sick by a Mum with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp! So what did I do different this time?
I got present – yep that old cure all.
Cognitive fusion reactor – she’s gonna blow
Have you ever heard of ‘cognitive fusion’? FYI – nothing to do with nuclear power. It describes when we over-engage with negative thoughts ie. we actually begin to believe our internal verbal abuse. So next time you feel yourself ‘fusing’ with the ranting of your inner critic try ‘diffusing’ by saying to yourself:
‘My mind is having a thought about …’.
This can give you the space and distance to tear yourself away from the horror movie of your imagined short comings and return to a more balanced and present state.
You’re not a teenager anymore…(thanks grandma)
Lately I’ve been realising that I have a limited pool of energy (not like when I was in my teens and I had more energy than I knew what to do with) and it’s up to me to be discerning about how I invest it. So I play a little reality game called:
‘Put up or shut up’
- Accept it and make the best of it (Jack and I played some fun games in between him watching a video and me doing some work)
- Take action (if I am not prepared to take some action then I lose all rights to whining)
Now this may not sound very self-compassionate at first glance but in reality it is double-scoop with sprinkles on top compassionate because the rest of my body doesn’t have to endure the rantings of my ego entranced mind.
Just a short one today because I have a few things to catch up with from last week!
Please share this with your friends and don’t get fused!